do-it-yourself hot yoga:

it helps if you already don't have air conditioning in your apartment. if you do, turn it off like 6 hours before you're planning on doing your hot yoga. make sure it's a blazing hot, airless day. now close all your windows. when you're leaving little pools of perspiration where your body parts meet tables and chairs, you know it's hot enough for hot yoga. lay out your mat. put in your hot yoga exercise tape. feel very very hot after one asana. decide to fuck it and make a margarita instead with all of the ice cubes in your freezer. drink your margarita lying down on your yoga mat.

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