How to be alone. (theory)

close your eyes,
you are in a well.
you've fallen in,
you forgot why.
this is how it is now,
you've been here once
before.

now. you can concentrate
on a pure thought,
like seeing the mouth of the well from far off
filled with light
after much time groping in the dark
which feels so close always
filling your hands with it,
pulling it close like a lover's hair
coming up with that dark air

fill your lungs, dear one
no one will hear you
scream
that name.



take your time.
feel your way.
cover yourself
with this shroud
of everything that is not
yourself
until you forget
you.


a lump of sugar
dissolving
becomes greater than itself
in expansion,
dispersion,
and you are that.

you will be here
for the billions of years
it will take
to reform you
into
a stronger crystal
with
new materials,
under a cloak of
silence.
and you will have time to
think.


soon the intimacy of that nothing
will be shed
in shades of becoming
and your body will be
remembered,
you will be reminded
of the fact of: your hands, reaching
out like a sleepwalker tentative
then your face
the weak winter sun creating
your face.
your eyes,
you can
open
when you are ready
to see.